young girl, one day you will be old

Thu, 28 Aug 2008 20:34:03 GMT

This semester is going to be pure chaos I can already tell, but totally worth it. I like all of my classes.

I'm finally, for once, at a pretty good place. Completely free of bullshit and fake idiots.

Fri, 15 Aug 2008 14:55:27 GMT

I'm moving to San Diego as soon as I finish school. wicked stoked! I'm applying for this program in April, and they only admit 18 people a year so I have to be on my best behavior. I made all A's last semester.. I'm sure I can continue to do so..

I hate being back in Atlanta.. I'm miserable here.

Mon, 28 Jul 2008 18:39:17 GMT

I'm so ready to be in california right now.. i leave in just a few short days. i'm definitely getting out of georgia when i graduate. i've got to.. this place just makes me feel like shit. i love my friends and family, even the ones i don't ever see... but i can't stay in one place too long. and my welcome has been long worn out.

Tue, 22 Jul 2008 22:05:17 GMT

i met, quite possibly, one of the most handsome/ cool/ funny guys ever today... at work of all places.. go figure? gah i hope i see him again soon he was fantastic. yeooow!

Mon, 21 Jul 2008 03:03:05 GMT

i booked my flight this morning, atlanta to lax leaving on the 6th! i'm so excited to get out of georgia again!

at first, i thought this break up was going to crush me competely, then i remembered i am a lot tougher than i used to be, and he's a douchebag.. and douchebags don't phase me. NEXT!

Sun, 06 Jul 2008 22:04:42 GMT

i think i might be moving to L.A.... like, wicked soon.

Oh, you know you really need to settle down,
Let it go.
You know you really need to settle down,
No you really need to let it go.
For good, forget his lies -
It's the only way to save your life.
'Cause this is restitution
For the love you've thrown away.

Just say you left me like you could.
Although you said you never would.
Just say it's done, and be gone.
Just say you left me like you could.
Although you said you never would.
Just say it's done, and be gone.
Just say it's done, and be gone.

Thu, 19 Jun 2008 19:10:48 GMT

Tomorrow's my birthday.. I'm turning 23 already. Where does time go?
I got really sick and had to go to the hospital this past weekend. I withdrew from my summer class, I'll just have to continue it in the fall. I need to get my strength back first.
Miguel and I are doing really well, I couldn't ask for a better man. He gets me, every retarded and bitchy part of me... and I love him unconditionally.

Sun, 08 Jun 2008 13:13:37 GMT

i"m so done trying to make you happy that it's not even funny...

Wed, 28 May 2008 21:47:01 GMT

Why is it every time we think everything is all right, something hits you like a fucking bus.

I'll never take someone that I love for granted again. I'm still waiting to wake up and have someone tell me it was all just a bad dream.

Don't ever leave someone angry, and don't ever let them walk away from you without saying " I love you", even if you're still angry.

The world's not going to be the same without our friend. r.i.p.

Mon, 19 May 2008 16:33:43 GMT

-Vacation was awesome!
-I made 3 A's and a C this semester, the C was in algebra.. go figure.

-Fighting with the person you love sucks, but it's like someone told me.. it's never about who is more right or wrong, it's about finding a happy medium and making it work. I totally agree. Sometimes you just gotta suck it up and get over it.

Mon, 14 Apr 2008 03:33:08 GMT

it's almost the end of the semester. thank gah.
beach soon( totally sweet )... summer semester soon( totally non-sweet ).
i can't wait for my birthday( and my papelbon jersey!
and also my puppy that i'm totally getting for x-mas.

Thu, 20 Mar 2008 22:35:19 GMT

time has been going by wicked fast. but i am so happy, so it's okay.
good grades, great man, vacation and summer break soon.
i'm sore as hell from playing paintball all day yesterday though.
sucks i missed the firestormage but i fell asleep and woke up too late. whoops.
two years before i know it, and i can get out of this shit hole.

Wed, 16 Jan 2008 20:42:42 GMT

Wow. Just when I thought I'd heard/seen everything. First, you lie about your age. THEN you lie about something so obvious, not to mention stupid/pathetic. Way to win the year's DOUCHEBAG award. Loser.

In other news, school's going extremely well. I'm happy with all of my classes and professors. I can't wait to finish!!! I miss seeing a lot of people though. If I've told you lately that I miss you and miss seeing you, it's sincere. I feel distanced from a lot of people and I hate that feeling.

Thu, 10 Jan 2008 21:08:58 GMT

Put ya in check cuz I thought you were my friend
Sorry it had to come to the bitter end
Just like a blind man you can't see
Better move along and just let me be

Sun, 06 Jan 2008 05:18:59 GMT

got a new phone, same number. but i lost everyone else's. i need them.

start class monday.. i'm in for a busy year. what's up 56k a year?

Fri, 04 Jan 2008 07:15:59 GMT

i think i started my year out just the way i should have. i love seeing old friends. i want to move so bad. i start school in just a couple of days. i hope this goes by fast. my goal is to buy a new car. i had like 4 or 5 new year's resolutions in my head, but who am i kidding? i never follow through with them any way.

Wed, 26 Dec 2007 00:50:25 GMT

well, it's not fair, it's not even close. you tied me down, where i'm forced to watch as you poke holes in every part of me containing something secretly. something sacred to me. i lied my face off when i said that i would be okay. it's never fine when you go away. these cuts run deep. these scars are permanent and always on display. this makes things difficult for me. it's not fair, it's not even close. you fed me the sun. burned me up inside and watched me choke on everything we did. on everything we lived. let's see if i can live again. i lied my face off when i said that i would be okay. it's never fine when you go away. these cuts run deep. these scars are permanent and always on display. this makes things difficult for me. head like an empty, sterile room. somehow i made a mess. like watching newborn babies crack from work related stress. head like an empty sterile room. somehow i made a mess. like watching newborn babies crack from work related stress. i'm bad luck, can't fuck. got no reflection today. maybe i'll stay down next time i get hit by a train. by a train. i lied my face off when i said that i would be okay. it's never fine when you go away.

Wed, 19 Dec 2007 15:08:29 GMT

I've had a really strange feeling in my gut for the past few days. No idea what it means, but it's starting to get annoying. I'm really tired, and I still have so much work to do. I can't for next month.. I shouldn't really be excited, but whatever. I'm an idiot, and I'll never learn my lesson.

Oh my god - it happened again
What the fuck is wrong with me?

Screaming gets you nothing
One more night in fucking town
Screaming gets you nothing
And I swear I'm fucking dead...
Screaming gets you nothing
I drew a heart around the name of your city...

Tue, 18 Dec 2007 16:39:38 GMT

1. What's the worst thing about hugs?
fake ones

2. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
no

3. What will your day consist of?
breakfast, shower, school, laundry, mom&dad's

4. Did you talk to anybody random?
yes ;)

5. Did any particular thing brighten up your day?
I just woke up.

6. What's the stupidest thing you've ever done?
there isn't just one, ha... but getting married may have taken the cake.

7. Did your last outing involve the police?
no, thank gah.

9. Do you make every decision as if your parents are watching you?
fuck no

10. When was the last time you were grounded?
i don't think i've ever "officially" been grounded.. they always forgot about it or just didn't care

11. Do you love anybody more than words can say?
yes, yes i do.

12. Have you ever gotten the butterflies?
yeah, they're gay

13. What were you doing at 12 AM?
drinking/ playing guitar hero

14. Do you sleep with socks or shoes on?
socks sometimes but i don't really like it.. i've slept with shoes on before, it's funny.

15. If you could change anything about your past would you?
see # 6

16. Do you bail on people often?
no, i try not too... unless i'm wicked tired or sick

17. Does anyone think you're a bitch?
don't really care

18. Do you consider yourself attractive?
no

19. Do you consider your best friend attractive?
yes, he's very handsome!

20. When was the last time you went ice skating?
a few years ago when i lived in boston

21. Have you ever been ice skating?
one time, i want to go again!

22. Describe the perfect girlfriend/boyfriend in 1 word:
..............

23. Your team loses are you watching the next game?
of course, loyal fan till the end..

25. Who was the last person you hugged?
jess

26. What was the last thing that made you smile?
i'll never tell...

27. Have you ever been fired from a job?
no, although i did get "let go" from bullmoose records because of time/cost
because i was the last one to be hired so i was the first one to go.

28. Someone trips in front of you, what do you do?
laugh, if you know me.. people falling is the funniest thing in the world to me.

29. Have you ever failed a class?
once, yeah.

30. Have you ever attended a school dance?
in 7th grade once

31. A person says they like you-you say:
nothing, usually.. i'm bad at that sort of thing

32. What's your favorite thing to do while watching a movie?
eat snacks

33. Do you enjoy cuddling?
depends

34. Have you ever woken up next to someone and smiled?
yeah it was awesome

35. Are you really close with your parents?
yeah, more so my mom than my dad but i love them

36. Do you go hunting?
i'm a vegetarian.

37. Your friend's pregnant-you say?
"awesome! glad it's you and not me."

38. What's your favorite sport?
football/baseball

40. Who do you look up to the most?
ma

41. An ideal 24 hours would consist of:
no work, sleep, no stress, good food, awesome playlist, my dog, snow

42. Do you like to run?
yes!

43. Do you plan on dressing up for Halloween this year?
I dressed up like a bee, what up blind melon?

44. What's on your key chain?
hello kitty in an orange suit(florida), house key(current), mom and dad's house key, car key, mailbox key, old apartment key, dan's jeep key, gold's gym card, petsmart card, kroger card, border's card

45. What word starts with M?
my name

46. What is your favorite day of the week and why?
one that involves sleeping in

47. Do you have deja vu often?
yeah

48. Has your favorite color ever been pink or blue?
green, i like pink though

49. Do you believe in true love or love at first sight?
true love... yeah, sure.

50. How many hoodies do you own?
around 20-25

Fri, 14 Dec 2007 23:08:13 GMT

1. What do you want to know?
why lucero is so good..

2. Who knows a secret or two about you?
a few people here and there. people i trust, or have trusted at one point.. we all have skeletons

3. Four words to explain why you last threw up?
jager, miller lite, 151, vodka

4. Have you ever burned yourself?
yeah, with a straightening iron a few days ago and it looks pretty gnarly

5. What's crazy to you?
the 750 lb. man... and pretty much everything

6. Do you have a favorite tattoo?
milo :)

7. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now?
who knows, who cares.. at least they're talking about me... right?

8. Who is your hero?
honestly, i don't think i have one.

9. Would you ever want to be a supermodel?
for the money, sure.. who wouldn't?

10. Who is the most experimental person you know?
i can't name just one haha

11. Do you tell white lies?
sure, everyone does. nothing major though, ever.

12. where is your next party?
in my pants. fuck, i dunno.. probably my apartment tomorrow like always. saturday night ritual.

13. Who do you want to be with right now?
who knows? someone worth it?

14. Do you scratch when and where you want to scratch?
uhhhhh... if i had a dick and balls yeah probably. my arm itches a lot? does that count?

15. How do you handle a break up?
i just get over it.

16. Your motivation for tomorrow?
money

17. Do you know what you will wear tomorrow?
work threads.. w00t

18. Last person to make you laugh?
john

19. Last thing you ate?
ru san's

20. Do u ever go a few days without changing your under
wear?
no, that's nasty.

21. Have you ever accidentally eaten an insect?
more than likely

22. Do daddy long legs freak you out?
only because they look like spiders

23. Have you ever cleaned up someone else's vomit?
yes, along with cat and dog throw up

24. Have you ever dropped food on the floor and eaten it?
5 second rule.. my stomach knows no boundaries

25. Do you kiss your pets on the mouth?
yeah, but not like KISS kiss that's just weird

26. Do you talk baby talk?
to my 4 month old neice

27. What serial killer do you find most disturbing?
none really. it's kind of interesting in a sick, twisted way i know, but whatever.

28. Do you watch court tv?
sometimes

29. Would you ever work in a retirement home?
fuck no i can't handle the emotional strain

30. Do you believe plants have feelings?
ummmmm no

31. Do you laugh at people with "bowl" haircuts?
i laugh at everyone.

32. Do you have nervous twitches?
i bite the shit out of my nails and my lip

33. Are you ever purposely irritating?
yes, i live for it.

34. If you could fly, where would you go first?
somewhere cool

35. Do you prefer boats or planes?
planes, they get you there way faster

36. Love or lust?
neither

37. One best friend or 10 aquaintances?
one best friend

38. Favorite food?
pizza

39. Do you believe that your first love never dies?
i wish he would

40. What upcoming event are you waiting and ready for?
patriots game, son.

41. Current smell?
candles

42. Do you get your nails done?
i'm not that prissy

43. Most favorite person?
samuel adams

44. What was the last thing you ordered at McDonald's?
i don't eat there

45. Are you an emotional person?
uhhhhh no

46. Do you like your name?
i'm used to it

47. Did you have plans this weekend?
workpartysleepeatworkrepeat

48. Do you work?
all the time, and when i'm not there i'm doing other work

49. Do you dance naked in your room?
no.

50. When/Why did your last relationship end?
myob

51. What are you listening to right now?
right brigade

52. Biggest fear?
spiders, as gay as that is

53. How long have you been a part of myspace?
a few years

55. What are you wearing right now?
jeans, marines shirt

56. Are your toes painted?
no and it looks funny

57. Does anyone hate you?
everyone hates everyone. i just don't pay attention to it. i just don't give a fuck.

58. How many people do you trust fully?
really? not many and i'd have to think about it really hard and i don't feel like thinking right now.

59. Did you have fun doing this?
yeah, fun like shooting yourself with a nail gun.

60. Are you thinking of someone right now?
yeah, and he's pretty smokin' hot not gonna lie

Wed, 05 Dec 2007 04:33:30 GMT

i pretty much stay tired all the time. blah.
where have all the cowboys gone, paula cole? that's a good fucking question... send 'em my way.

Mon, 03 Dec 2007 19:14:15 GMT

I'm going to see angels&airwaves tonight. Pretty stoked about that.
I am always fucking busy it gets old sometimes.
My work schedule is out of control and school isn't going to be any easier this semester. It's going to be worth it to bust my ass though.
I need to start Christmas shopping.. ugh.
I don't see anyone ever, it's weird. I don't think I like it. I miss hanging out... kind of...

Rise and Fall is still fucking amazing.
I finally found a River Runs Red long sleeve, O.G tour. I'm stoked on it. I need to sort through all my shirts and shit and start getting rid of the ones I don't wear. I'm such a pack rat.

Fri, 30 Nov 2007 05:54:01 GMT

TEN things you wish you could say to TEN different people right now:

1. I hate you, but I don't hate you. I hate the way you make me feel, and the fact that you can't be honest with me about trivial things.
2. I love you so much, you're one of my closest and most loyal friends. I would do anything for you.
3. I miss you a lot, I wish you still lived here. I love you more than life.
4. You're amazing, it's hard to tell you that sometimes.
5. You make me feel like a piece of shit, that's why I never come around.
6. If there was a way to go back and fix what was broken, I would. Just take that with you, wherever you go...
7. I think you're a hypocrite.
8. If I could say exactly how I feel, even though you live far away... it would be good, good things.
9. You're one of the smartest people I know. Wise up.
10.I miss you.

NINE things about yourself:

1. I'm stubborn.
2. I have a hard time expressing how I feel at all times.
3. I don't think I will ever find happiness.
4. I think too much.
5. I hurt all the time. Physically and mentally.
6. I am so grateful for my family.
7. I am happy to be back in school.
8. I want to be anywhere but here, mostly there...
9. I hate myself a lot of the time.

EIGHT ways to win your heart:

1. Show me you care.
2. Don't lie to me.
3. Be selfless.
4. Rub my feet, play cards with me, hold my hand, take me to ball games and open the door.
5. Be patient.
6. Consideration and caring are a huge PLUS.
7. Sing me a song.
8. Don't ever be afraid to look dumb or act goofy, laughing is the best.

SEVEN things that cross your mind a lot:

1. What if?
2. Am I a good person?
3. Never waking up, and being okay with it.
4. Doing well in life, love, school, work...etc.
5. "I don't understand you at all, and I never will."
6. I miss you even though I shouldn't.
7. People I've met.

SIX things you wish you never did:

1. Got married.
2. Got divorced.
3. Moved back here.
4. Ignored my dying grandmother.
5. Started talking to him again.
6. Let myself be vulnerable.

FIVE turn offs:

1. Dishonesty.
2. Selfishness.
3. Drugs.
4. Fakeness.
5. Impatience.

FOUR turn ons:

1. Tenderness.
2. Understanding.
3. Fun.
4. Kindness.

THREE smileys that describe your life:

1. Laughter.
2. Indifference.
3. Confusion.

TWO things you want to do before you die:
1. Live in another country.
2. Love.

ONE confession:
1. I'm not okay, and I haven't been in a very long time.

Fri, 30 Nov 2007 02:27:32 GMT

Wrap your arms around me.
I'm fucking freezing,
and I just saw napalm in your eyes.
Rip off what's left of another day,
another crash.
I'm not good with goodbyes.
Moments like this don't just come and go, so soak it in.
This is all I know. Hollow eyes have seen it all.
They say it takes a lifetime for an empire to fall.
I keep swallowing, choking on ashes,
hoping that you will help me breathe.
But tomorrow's not coming.
There's nothing left to believe.
You look like Christmas to me, pale and glowing.
The streetlight catching you through the window.
And for a split second I forgot all my failures,
and the trash on the street below.
I'm here with you. You're here with me. Let's try to forget.
Flesh on flesh.

Wed, 14 Nov 2007 21:31:57 GMT

i fucked my foot up a few weeks ago and i finally went to the doctor for it. he gave me vicodin and told me not to walk on it for a while. i feel stoned, i hate pain killers but i hate pain worse.

i'm officially a student again. i go back to school in january. i'm excited.

life is good.